Parents and family often find it difficult to decide whether children should, or should not, attend a funeral. Not sure? Ask for our advice.

Many choose not to take babies or children under the age of about 3, fearing they might be noisy. However, children old enough to know what is happening should generally be given the choice to attend; respect their decision.

Invariably they need simple, honest information when someone has died, so that they can understand, in their own way, what has happened. Later, when they are grown up, they may not remember specific details of the funeral, but they will remember that it was a meaningful, non-threatening experience that they were involved and included in.

It may also be helpful to have an adult who is known and trusted by the children, but who is, perhaps, not quite as affected by the death. That person will be able to take youngsters out of the service if they become bored, restless or just want to leave.